The Conversation Stopper

Imagine the following:  you are coaching someone, and the exchange is lively. Questions are quickly followed by answers, and answers are quickly followed by new questions. There is energy in the room.

Then you ask what you think is a great open question, and the conversation comes to a dead halt. Silence. What happens next? Here are three common scenarios:

1. You think “Oh, no!  They didn’t understand the question.“ So you rephrase it and ask it again.
2. Or you think, “That must have been too personal.”  So you replace it with another question, or divert the conversation somehow.
3. Or very possibly, you react with the thought “This silence is killing me, so it must be bothering my coachee.”  So you fill it to make the two of you more comfortable.

I believe that something fundamentally different may be happening. Your question could have been so thought provoking, that your coachee is simply…..thinking! And if you react in any of the above ways, you could interrupt that fine process.

Good open questions, the ones that make people think,  often create silence. And silence following a question can be one of the best signs that your question has triggered an important thought process for your coachee. 

So the next time your question is answered with silence, let that silence hang. You can even signal that you are happy to wait until they are ready to reply. Sometimes I’ll say “Take your time.”  Or I’ll just sit back and make some notes. Or I might even offer to get a new round of beverages, giving even more ‘space’ to the coachee.

Silence after a question is one of the biggest compliments your coachee can give to you.

"Music is the silence between the notes."

Claude Debussy

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Are you and/or your colleagues:

• Experiencing high attrition rates?
• Taking on the work of others?
• Working too hard to stop and listen?
• Not getting enough out of your team?
• Watching people line up to ask you for solutions, instead of coming up with the answers themselves?

Would you and your colleagues like to:

• Inspire employees to be fully engaged and accountable for their work?
• Ask questions that catalyse creativity and innovation?
• Coach colleagues with confidence using state-of-the-art techniques?
• Take your leadership to the next level, increasing your personal and organizational impact?

Does it work?

There are a lot of ‘Leader as Coach’ programs out there, and we venture to guess that ±95% of them have no or negligent lasting impact.

I (Julie) was once asked to design a program ‘that works’ – that actually gets leaders to develop and sustainably and successfully apply solid coaching skills in the workplace – so I DID.

This gave birth to our cornerstone program: Coaching is an Art

We have personally witnessed Senior Business and HR Leaders transform their leadership - increasing their impact on individuals, teams and the organisation.

Here’s what past participants are saying:

Participant 1:

“There are so many things that I am doing differently (and better!) in conversing with colleagues and clients now! This course took me on a significant journey, reviewing and transforming how I interact with others. With a plethora of extremely effective tools now at hand, I am more curious, listen more deeply, am more patient, and I stimulate deeper and more innovative thinking in others. I am much more conscious and intentional now – and all this gives me enormous energy!”

Senior Global Partner
Big 4 Advisory Firm

Participant 2:

“I previously prided myself on always having an answer and advice when others approached me with their challenges. However, through the coaching program I have learned the value in guiding individuals in how to reach the answers themselves, leading to directions that are fully owned by the individual … and better suited to the situation… As a result, I am seeing my team members feeling empowered to … make their own decisions ... This gives me more time to lead the strategy …  Everyone wins with coaching!”

Senior Leader
Global Consumer Goods Company

Global HR Sponsor 1:

"This flexible, 9-month program really works! Our senior leaders are developing and successfully applying solid coaching skills, which are particularly important in times of transformation and change. Leaders coach selected talents and as a result, we notice significant behavioral shifts in daily interactions, team collaboration, performance and how employees take ownership on business commitments and drive results.

Currently in the process of rolling out our 5th wave, we see this program as a key enabler to build the desired culture, which allows us to position ourselves ahead on the competition in a highly dynamic market. The impact of this program on retention and engagement is high, and it continues resonating across a diverse and multigenerational workforce.”

Global HR Sponsor 2:

“I recommend this program for all leaders who really want to achieve their full leadership potential, and for your organization as a whole in order to be truly competitive in the marketplace.”

In-House Programs

Would you like more information about our In-House Program? Let’s have a chat. We would love to learn about your needs, give you more information, and answer your questions. Send an email to Julie at julie@julie-johnson-consulting.com

Open Enrolment Programs

Would you like more information about our yearly Open Enrolment Program? The next (5th) run is set to start in March 2023. This could be a great way to ‘test the waters’ with one or two participants from your organization.

We are now accepting "Early Bird" registrations for the March 23 launch, offering a 15% discount if registered by December 15, 2022.

Want to learn more? Send an email to Julie at julie@julie-johnson-consulting.com